Not Pretend
by mamaXunicorn
Summary: They had been so close...yet they remained so far. Wemma angst. Carma. Will/OC.


_**A/n: I know what you're thinking and I can't believe I wrote this either. This is a special dedication to Jax on the Will/Emma thread. **_

_**Although this has to do with a Carma marriage it's slight AU because they didn't go to Vegas to get married and I hope you all don't kill me for bringing in a new character.

* * *

**_

Will was honestly surprised when he received Carl and Emma's wedding invitation.

It's not like they hadn't been on good terms lately, because they had. A lot better than either of them could have imagined after their history. However, given said history Will thought there was a silent agreement between him and Emma that it would be incredibly awkward to have him at their wedding. Emma rarely discussed her wedding plans in front of him to which Will was incredibly grateful and he thought he heard the date being passed around.

He wasn't completely sure until he got that highly ornate invitation in his mailbox.

He sat for nearly an hour at his kitchen table, his chin rested in his hand, just staring at the lettering debating whether or not he should attend.

He tapped his pen against the table, biting down hard on his lip, weighing all of his options.

With a small, sad sigh he lifted the pen to paper and placed a neat x in the _plus one_ column.

He had fought for Emma and he had fought _hard. _Not in the immature kind of way of which he had shamefully done in the past but trying to slip into her good side without making a total ass of himself. It worked - but not in the way he had hoped. He regained Emma's friendship (he was more than ecstatic) but every time he thought Emma might be leaning his way, she'd really only be getting closer to Carl. But he still continued to fight to the end.

The end, unfortunately, came in the form of Emma bounding up to him first thing on a monday morning, a grin so bright on her face that he couldn't help but smile back. She announced her engagement to Carl, shyly showing off her ring. Will had expressed how happy he was for her because generally speaking he _was_ happy for her. All he ever wanted was for Emma to be loved the way she should be loved and for her to always have that brilliant smile on her face. He just always thought that he'd be given a chance to prove that he could be the one to love her the way she should be loved and to place and keep that lovely smile on her face.

That day and the seven days following were the worst of Will Schuester's life.

He'd went home and drank until he couldn't see straight. He missed that week of school, drowning himself in alcohol and tears, making up some excuse to Emma that he had come down with a bad virus.

She still didn't know the truth.

Things got awkward again for a little while. It hurt Will to be around Emma, too much to even look at her. He'd occasionally see a hurt look on Emma's face as they passed in the hallway and he imagined he was being a little bit of a jerk, ignoring her and not giving a reason why but at the time he didn't quite care. He eventually went to her and told her that the reason he'd been distant was due to glee club...he had a feeling Emma saw right through his lie but she never questioned it.

He tried talking to Emma more often and gradually they fell back into a semi normal routine. Sitting together at lunch, talking, laughing - everything that best friends are supposed to do.

But Will still remained miserable and it was obvious to everyone around him. They all tried to help him, the glee club sang some of his favorite songs, Emma stopped talking about Carl, Shannon Beiste tried to take an interest in whatever he had to say about glee club, and even Sue stopped verbally harassing him. Not fully, she wouldn't be Sue Sylvester if she didn't take a crack at his luscious curls, but when Will would look particularly low Sue would bite her tongue. He appreciated it and occasionally the sweet actions would bring a smile to his face but Will Schuester was a broken man and his hope for a bright future seemed slim.

Little did he know his hope would soon be restored in the form of a shy, sweet brunette who moved into the apartment next to his.

He'd seen her a few times, even bidding her welcome a week after she first arrived but he never really talked to her.

Until fate stepped in.

He had been particularly miserable that day because Emma had been particularly happy - about her wedding. She ranted and raved about it during lunch and Will suffered through it, smiling pathetically offering pieces of information just so he didn't sit there like a stone.

He was relieved when the day was finally over and was in such a rush to get home and have a drink to relax that he failed to see his neighbor walking in the opposite direction. They collided in the middle of the hallway and the box of paper's she was holding went flying all over the floor.

Will, as miserable as he was, was still ever the gentlemen and bent down immediately to help pick up the papers.

"Oh gosh," He froze at the accent the sweet voice held, "I am so sorry. I totally wasn't looking where I was going. I am such a klutz."

He looked up, the stack of papers in his arms and his breath caught in his chest. Their eyes met for a long second and she flushed bright red, slowly taking the papers out of his arms, placing it back in the box and rising slowly to her feet.

Will followed seconds after finally finding his voice, "That's alright." He flashed his famous crooked smile. "No harm done."

She bit her lip shyly, shoved the box under one arm and stuck out her hand in front of her. "I'm Mary. Mary O'Connor."

His larger hand found her small one in the space between them. "Will Schuester."

Mary grinned, tucking a strand of her auburn hair behind her ear.

As Mary shifted the box in front of her Will caught a glance of the contents and his eyes widened slightly. "Sheet music?" He questioned, motioning towards the box.

"Oh, yes." Her face lit up brightly. "I'm a music teacher at a high school a few towns over."

For the first time in a _very_ long time, a true smile passed Will's lips. "You don't say."

Will and Mary had become fast friends, they'd spend almost every day in one or the other's apartment or at a local cafe discussing music, Will's involvement with his glee club, how Mary lacked the confidence to ask her new boss to consider starting a glee club in her school and everything above and below.

The changes in Will were obvious, he walked with a spring in his step, a smile on his face, the joy in his voice had returned. His students and fellow faculty members were puzzled by his sudden change in demeanor and Emma had even asked about it at one point.

He opted to tell her the truth. He told her that he had met someone and for once it was his turn to gush about his new friend and potential love interest.

Though he pretended not to notice he couldn't help but see the slightly crestfallen look on Emma's face. For a brief second he thought he might have seen a look that he thought disappeared ages ago a look he had only seen when he was married and Emma was the one admiring him from afar. He brushed it off though. He refused to get his hopes up especially when he was finally _happy. _

Mary truly did make him happy, he always had a smile on his face when he was around her, she had this uncanny ability to make him laugh until his sides hurt and best of all she made him feel loved. He wasn't afraid to give his heart out for fear of it shattering into a million pieces.

But as happy as he was with Mary he knew that some part of his heart would _always_ be head over heels in love with Emma Pillsbury.

* * *

The wedding was held in Virginia at the church that Emma grew up in. It was a sweet ceremony, very Emma-like.

Emma was a radiant bride, grinning from ear to ear, her eyes shining with tears as she walked down the aisle.

Will couldn't help the sinking feeling in his heart as he watched Emma marry Carl. He always wanted it to be him who she was smiling at in a beautiful wedding dress ever since she came into his spanish classroom in her Princess Di dress waiting for her dance lessons.

Mary had grabbed his hand though, squeezing it tightly and he couldn't bare to look her in the eyes. He knew she understood what he would be feeling that day, he knew that she knew that he still had feelings for Emma. When the two women had met for the first time Mary caught strange looks being passed between Will and Emma. He was incredibly grateful that he had found such a wonderful and understanding friend in Mary and hoped that one day he'd be able to give her all of his heart.

As Emma and Carl sealed their marriage with a kiss many of the occupants of the room shed tears of joy.

Will let out a few tears of his own though in joy they were not.

* * *

Will rolled his eyes when he first caught sight of the reception hall. It was larger than one he'd ever seen before, ten times grander than the one he and Terri had and he had searched all of Ohio for a price worthy reception hall for his bride.

Carl was alot better off money wise than Will had been then and still was now and it honestly didn't surprise Will that he went all out. He wasn't exactly sure it was what Emma wanted, he always knew Emma as a woman who preferred simpler things but as long as she seemed happy then he'd refrain from commenting.

Will was seated at a table with Mary, Shannon Beiste, and even Sue Sylvester who had practically invited herself not too far away from the bridal table but far enough that Will could keep his cool.

He suffered slightly though the toasts and what not but Mary managed to distract him by dragging him out onto the dance floor later on and once he let go of that pitiful feeling in the pit of his stomach he found himself actually having a good time.

He was an instant hit with some of Emma's relatives as he led the group who settled onto the dance floor through various dances and he got caught up in all the excitement and fun that he forgot, even if just for a little while, that he was at the wedding of his nightmares.

Will collapsed into his seat, laughing, wiping the beads of sweat off his forehead. Sue rolled her eyes at him and continued to stare around the room, looking bored. Shannon smirked at him, "Having fun, Will?"

"A blast actually." He grinned, the laughter still in his voice. "Man, I haven't had fun like that in ages."

"You should have been out there with us Shannon." Mary said turning to the other woman with a grin.

Sue snorted a laugh and then acted innocent as the other occupants of the table turned to her with a glare. Will rolled his eyes as Shannon tried to laugh it off.

"Nah, I wouldn't be caught dead out there."

"Ah well," Will shrugged sharing a knowing, matching grin with Mary, "Your loss."

The upbeat song that had been playing melted away to a softer melody, a beautiful and light piano piece and a few couples made their way out onto the dance floor.

Will's fun had quickly come to an end with the beginning of that song and automatically his eyes searched the room for Emma. He spotted her talking happily with a group of her relatives a few tables away and subconsciously sighed, placing his head in his hands as he watched her.

He felt a nudge to his side and looked up to see Mary smiling at him softly. "You should ask her to dance." She motioned towards the beautiful bride.

Will's eyes widened as his eyes settled back on Emma. The red head suddenly grinned and from where he was he could hear the sound of her musical laughter. He sighed again and shook his head. "I-I couldn't."

"Will," Mary's voice was stern and he glanced over at her sadly, "You go over there and ask that woman to dance or I will drag you over there and ask her for you."

Will's eyes widened further and he gaped at her smirking face. She gave his shoulder a gentle shove mouthing 'go'.

Will licked his lips, closed his eyes tightly for a brief second, sucked in a deep breathe and slowly rose from his seat.

Walking across the dance floor to where Emma stood felt like he was walking across the many miles of the Sahara desert with no water in sight. He paused behind her and caught the glances of some of the people at the table but ignored them and cleared his throat to catch Emma's attention.

Emma whirled around, her smile faltering for a second but then returning as a wider smile a second later. "Will, hi."

With one hand behind his back, Will offered his other hand out to her. "Would you care to dance?"

Emma's eyes widened at his question and immediately her eyes drifted over to where Carl sat chatting with his brother. Carl's eyes had been on Will ever since he saw the man approaching his new wife and now they were narrowed in slight suspicion as Will held his hand out to Emma. His eyes made contact with Emma's and then with Will's and with a little sigh he gave a curt nod, quickly turning back to his brother.

Emma turned back to Will with a soft smile and placed her hand in his, allowing Will to pull her out onto the dance floor. Emma's free hand came to rest comfortably over his chest as his other arm wrapped around her frail waist keeping her as close as he could without Carl coming over and beating the crap out of him.

They shared a small smile as they began to sway in time to the music. Will led Emma all across the dance floor, his eyes never leaving hers, his heart pounding in his chest as he listened to the lyrics that seemed to be haunting him.

_So close to reaching that famous happy ending_

_Almost believing this was not pretend_

_Now you're beside me and look how far we've come_

_So far_

_We are so close_

Emma seemed to realize what meaning the lyrics held as well, her face falling into an expression of lethargic intensity.

Her eyes widened as suddenly the song leaped into a waltz and Will twirled her around in a spin, picking up their pace as they twirled and stepped along every inch of the dance floor their eyes and focus on nothing but each other.

Being this close, dancing in this way, they both couldn't help but be reminded of when they had danced similarly in a dress ship in downtown Lima. Things were easier then and oh how Will wished he could go back to that time and make everything right again.

Emma was surprised that she was able to keep up with Will. She wasn't always the best of dancer and she had taken a bit of dancing lessons in order to prepare for her wedding but she did not expect to be swept onto the dance floor into such a dance like Will was leading in her now.

The music died once more into the softer, piano melody and they fell back into a comfortable pace, swaying on the dance floor. Emma could clearly see the glistening in his eyes and she turned her eyes away just to escape for a moment.

Her head eventually fell lightly onto his chest, her eyes closing as she listened to his pounding heartbeat, their pace slowing down as the song dwindled to an end.

_Oh how could I face the faceless days_

_if I should lose you now_

_We're so close to reaching that famous happy ending_

_almost believing this was not pretend_

_let's go on dreaming for we know we are_

_So close_

_So close_

_And still so far_

Will's breath ghosted across the top of her hair as he let out a quiet, shuddering breath trying desperately to stop the single tear that had somehow found its way down his cheek anyway.

Emma lifted her head finally, frowning at the tears in his eyes but he only smiled sadly and shook his head. He leaned forward and pressed a soft but lingering kiss to his cheek. "I wish you the best, Emma. Always."

Emma meant to wish him the same but as he pulled away she was rendered speechless. He swallowed hard, his lips curling up in a small smile as he walked away without another word.

Emma was left stranded in the middle of the dance floor, staring after him sadly before she caught Carl's unreadable expression and bowed her head retreating to the side of the room to resume talking to her family.

Mary's hand came to rest on Will's shoulder as he sunk into his seat. He stared at the table cloth, avoiding the sympathetic looks from his friends. Mary's hand slipped down his arm until she reached his hand and she interlocked their hands together, resting her head on his shoulder lightly.

Will carelessly slung his arm around her but his focus was drawn away from her and to the other side of the room where just at the same time, Carl walked over to Emma slipping his arm around her to lead her to talk to someone else and her head turned sideways to meet Will's gaze from across the room.

Their eyes were only locked on each others for a second or two at most but to the both of them it felt like forever. Emma finally broke their longing stare as she turned her head into Carl's shoulder, smiling as they approached some cousin of Carl's.

He felt Mary give his hand a comforting squeeze and he returned it, finally turning to her with what he thought was a reassuring smile.

He went into that wedding telling himself that he could make it through, that he could be happy with Emma, that he could see that she was married and move on with his life, move on with Mary because he _wanted_ to do that.

But once again Will Schuester was miserable.


End file.
